Crouch.Touch.Pause.Engage.

No Pads. no helmets. just balls.

Rugby 101: #8 - Rugby Slang

For those unfamiliar with the quaint sport of ‘Fighting with a Ball’ or ‘Rugby’ for modern lovers of the game, there may be some slang that is difficult to understand. In this lesson I shall aim to define any words you may not know:

Advantage -  What you are legally allowed to take of another player in a ruck.

All-Black - What players see when hit by one the Tuilagi brothers, usually through being knocked unconscious, or having their retinas detached.

Blood Bin - Anyone who is silly enough to bleed during a match is forced off the pitch into the blood-bin. When The blood bin is full, the player inside dies, or the game ends, the blood-bin acts as a large punch bowl, where the thirsty players drink in honour of their fallen teammate. 

Breakdown - What Scrum-halves go through when faced with a charging pack baying for his blood.

Dead Ball -  A dead ball is one where the player carrying it is killed. The ball is given to the family of the player as a memento, or as a constant reminder that their offspring was simply ‘not made for Rugby’.

‘Drink it down you Zulu Warrior’ - A drinking game played after matches, where players down drinks whilst a song is being sung. Results of matches can be over-ruled by this activity. This is the sole reason why England have never lost a World-Cup.

Dump tackle - When a player is tackled so hard, the feeling of sadness and distress is like that of a relationship break-up.

Feed in - This usually takes place after the Breakdown, when the tackled scrum-half has to be fed through a tube for six weeks while his limbs are reattached.

Haka - A New Zealand brand of laxative known for it’s extreme potency. Can simultaneously cause 15 people to shit themselves, in less than 30 seconds.  

Hospital Pass - Where the team mates of the injured scrum-half drive past the hospital in a coach, screaming words of encouragement and/or abuse at the injured party.

Knock On - When a player is knocked unconscious, teammates are encouraged to check how deep their coma is by knocking on their forehead much like you would with a door.

Maul - Where Rugby players briefly act like footballers and grope each other to within an inch of their lives.

Onside - In attack, a player is onside when he/she is behind the ball carrier. When defending a player is onside if he is not behind the ball carrier. For Offside see ‘Richie McCaw’.

Pop Pass -  A pop pass is a pass where the ball is launched so hard, and at such speed, that when caught by a teammate, it explodes.

Rugby League - Like Rugby Union, but players are encouraged to run straight at the biggest people on the pitch and any injury sustained is due to being a massive homosexual.

Scrum Cadence - The words called by the referee before a scrum to ensure the scrum is formed safely: ‘Crouch. Touch. Pause. Engage.’ It is also accustomed for Rugby players to shout this prior to receiving oral sex.

Sin Bin - Where players go when Yellow Carded following an infringement, to think about what they’ve done. After 10 minutes has passed and they have calmed down, they are free to come back onto the field of play and gouge someones eye out.




 

4 months ago 10 notes

Tagged with:  #Rugby 101  #Rugby  #101  #Slang

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